So these past couple of weeks have been a personal challenge for me. I have had to decide if I had enough strength to power through the thoughts of giving up and move forward. I cried for a couple of hours one night. Just completely empty of all motivation to keep going. I have always kept going to fight another day. Last week just this one day, everything came to a head. I didn't want to go home, I didn't know what to do, I just wanted to crawl in hole. I sat there and analyzed why I was feeling this way. Of course while this is happening, someone I care about decides to be honest with me about our relationship. It wasn't what I wanted to hear. I am crushed. It was the last thing I needed to crumble on the inside. Well, I guess I needed exactly that. From that point, I decided to salvage what I had left of my inner strength and build from it. One day and one baby step at a time. What's the worst that can happen? I become stronger....ok.
My last post was from March...so much has happened but let me nutshell it. In April, my boyfriend and I break up (long story). The day after my birthday he decides to try to take his life, which I find him and get him the much needed help. Yes, most that know me well enough know my feelings on this and rightly so. So I am in a new pad with Hayleigh, playing single mom again. Hayden is doing awesome on his own. That boy is TJ junior for sure. Friends old and new have been so supportive and understanding. I just try to be strong and power through like I always have. And yes, sometimes it is too much....but......I just have to keep going. I can't give up on finding happiness in all aspects of my life.
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